009. End of the Year Survey!
Dec. 31st, 2017 03:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
monstersinthecosmos
I feel super silly cause I've done this survey every year for like, idk, probably at least 15 years on LiveJournal LMAO and I posted it here last year right around when I joined DW and then I only made two other entries all year. OOPS. But I still gotta do it, it's tradition!
1. What did you do in 2017 that you'd never done before?
I got my own apartment! Like MY OWN like no roommates! WILD! I got in a car accident (where I was the driver--I was in one when I was a teenager when I wasn't driving) and totaled my fucking car! (When I opened DW just now there was a drafted entry about this that I never finished writing cause it's just such a fucking shitshow I don't have the energy to talk about it.) Went to an enormous demonstration to protest the President of the United States LOL. I started a podcast with my vampire frands! I FILLED A WHOLE DRAWING BOOK WITH LEGIT DRAWINGS AND NOT JUST BULLSHIT DOODLES. I got to see Rammstein FROM THE PIT HOLY SHIT. Bought marijuana legally. Saw, touched, and held a dead baby.
2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions for 2017? Will you make more for 2018?
I didn't make real resolutions last year except that I wanted to try attempting a NaNo-like project in January and I wanted to get into a better creative routine. I think I did that! I didn't finish my novel still cause I'm a complete clown and I keep writing fanfiction instead of working on it LOL! but I did started a Facebook group for the NaNo project and I met a lot of really motivational creative writers and it had a really really profound effect on my productivity!!! I've written more this year that I have since I was a teenager and it feels so good. It's sort of the FB group but also has a lot to do with making friends in VC fandom and the amazing feedback loop we all give each other for making fanworks, it's really inspiring!!!
But anyway for 2018! I don't really like making resolutions but I do hope to get a better job this year! I was gonna start job hunting after Christmas, I decided that a few months ago, but since I totaled my car it really threw a wrench in my plans cause now I have to figure out how to find jobs and get to interviews without a car. But I'm trying! I'm gonna do my best!
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My friend Holly did! She's one of my oldest internet friends! I met her on LJ when I was like 14 I think!!!!
4. Did anyone close to you die?
I wouldn't say we were "close" but a friend that I knew since we were like 6 years old killed himself a few months ago and it was pretty fucked up.
5. What countries did you visit?
I didn't leave the country! D: But I did go to New York, New Jersey, Nevada, Georgia, and South Carolina!
6. What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017?
I gotta do something about my job, dude! It worked out for me when I first moved to LA because I was just trying to get on my feet, but it really doesn't pay enough, and now that I have my own apartment and my bills are all higher I really need to figure this out. Also, I mean. I was able to put up with a lot of petty bullshit from my boss and take it in stride but she's been super insufferable ever since my car accident and I'm 10000% done and just want to GTFO out at this point.
7. What date from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
7/1 was the day of the Rammstein show!
9/24 was my friend's wedding that I went to New York for!
9/28 THE DAY I SAW PERTURBATOR OMG, incidentally also the day aforementioned friend killed himself and the day my ex stalked and grabbed me on the street in NYC, fun times.
11/30 was the day I totaled my car, RIP car!
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Finding my own apartment! It's not like, the best. It's really small and I don't have an oven. But it's mine and it's quiet and private and I am like 3000% less stressed than I was when I had roommates.
9. What was your biggest failure?
I apparently say this every year (I said it last year too LMAO) but my social anxiety got so bad. Now, since I say it every year, I wonder if it really gets worse and worse or if I just imagine it. But I think it got pretty fucking bad this year, where it warranted my friend like bringing me out for ice cream so that she could confront me about it. Nice.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I actually have only gotten sick once since I moved to LA, which is astonishing. I used to think my immune system was garbage and now I think it's cause I was working overnights in a filthy warehouse that didn't have heat, GO FIGURE. But I worked at a hospital for like 3/4 of the year and I had to get a flu shot and it made me super sick!! The fuck! Also I kinda jostled my whole body in the car accident and I've been kinda stiff and sore and my attorney has been paying for me to see a chiropractor and I've been truly astonished by how much it's helping. Like, I'm grateful? But then I get super furious that HELP WAS THIS EASY THE WHOLE TIME BUT RECEIVING MEDICAL CARE WAS PROHIBITIVELY EXPENSIVE SO I NEVER DID.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
My Rammstein ticket. :D
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
This is gonna start sounding sappy af but I made like awesome VC friends through Tumblr and Discord and everyone has been so fucking amazing and supportive and I appreciate it so much and celebrate it, but I'm also so proud of all you guys for overcoming the various obstacles that have come at you this year. YOU'RE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE.
13. Whose behavior made you mad and ill-willed?
My boss's. Like I know I mentioned it already but I'm so salty about the way she's been behaving about my car accident. Like acting all disappointed that I can't run errands for her cause I don't have a car anymore, and lecturing me about what car I should buy until I'm so frustrated I'm crying, and then telling me I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'RE GETTING UPSET, THIS IS A GOOD THING, THIS IS EXCITING, YOU CAN GET A NEW CAR!, and then saying she's gonna be supportive about the whole process, but then only acting supportive when it's convenient for her, and giving me shit about coming in late because the bus was late, or having to leave early to go to the chiropractor. Etc. I'm not pleased.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent & bills is such an obvious answer and it doesn't count. Aside from that--my trip to Vegas to see Rammstein! But to be fair I bought extra tickets and scalped them so that it paid for everything LOL.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
R A M M S T E I N. Also Perturbator and my trip to NY in general cause I got to hang out with Yuu for a week and it was the best! And I got to go see my family for the first time in years at Christmas and I saw my nephews for the first time since 2014 and it was so nice.
16. What song will always remind you of 2017?
Perturbator - Humans Are Such Easy Prey! So I caved and finally got a Spotify subscription this year and this was in one of my first Discover Weekly playlists and I heard it and my brain was like ARMAAAAAAANNNNNDDDDDDD and I FREAKED out and now Perturbator is one of my favs. But then also I was listening to this album every time I read Killing Stalking so now every time I hear songs off Dangerous Days my brain starts setting off Sangwoo alarms LMAO. It's thrilling. :D AND OMFG SEEING THIS SHIT LIVE WAS SO GOOD ASHDJKG FUCK.
Eisbrecher - Rot Wie Die Liebe! So I had a second job most of the year, and like my last weekend of FREEDOM before I had to work seven days a week I like binge wrote a 10k Yuri on Ice fic and went into this manic creative frenzy and I was listening to this song on repeat for like the second half of it (ie: The Smut) and now every time I hear it I think of it and it leads to me just thinking about Yuri on Ice in general and my fanfiction revival this year and how it used to feel in my old house with my roommates when I'd wait for them to go to bed so that I could leave and go to 711 for snacks without them asking questions or judging me and blah blah. It's weird, it just encompasses a lot of feelings lol.
Kiss the Anus of a Black Cat - Argonaut & Magneto! Listen, this is a really questionable band name, but they're so good. I got into them earlier this year and they inspired me to write so much, and there were times working on fics where I would be really stuck for inspiration and I'd put this album on and all my Armand Feels would just rush back to me and I was like KERMIT-TYPING.GIF.
She Past Away - Rituel! This, too, was a big Armand inspo vibe for me and really helped me get a lot of writing done. And it's weird like I'm choosing to celebrate all the good parts of the year but this song too is one that really just brings me back to how I was isolating myself in my room because my roommate situation got so bad and like I was just hardcore using escapism to cope with it and I was listening to She Past Away and writing fanfiction a lot LOL. And I love this song and it's not ruined for me or anything but there's definitely like a really vivid feeling I get of how that used to feel.
Maxthor - Howlings in the Night! I found this album like one of the first weeks I moved into my new apartment and I was listening to it SO much. And now it reminds me of that nice quiet time of settling in and that sense of relief that I finally had my own place and got it all sorted out on my own. :D (Also Armand/Daniel music which is the overall Musical Theme of 2017 LOL.)
Ultra Sheriff - Make Me a Cyborg! This whole album honestly JFC I got so into it over the summer and it reminds me of like driving home from my hospital job with no A/C on the freeway and like, stopping to get food before I got home cause I knew my roommate would be watching football with his friends and I was too socially anxious to try to make myself dinner in front of everyone lol. And also I was on a hardcore Ultra Sheriff kick the day I had my first dead baby at work so like. I kinda think about that too. ANYWAY I LOVE THE WHOLE ALBUM but I chose this specific song cause the theme about MAKE ME A CYBORG is very easily relatable to Daniel wanting to be made a vampire LMAO.
I'LL STOP HERE, FIVE IS ENOUGH I GUESS. (wow lmfao it's actually six oops LOL) I consulted last.fm for some of my most played but I could go on cause I'm an audiophile and I'm completely out of control.
This time last year were you:
1. Happier or sadder? Sadder! I think! Around this time last year is when my situation with my roommates started to get really bad so I'm just really happy that I'm done with that.
2. Thinner or fatter? AROUND THE SAME BUT PROBABLY THINNER; again w/ roommate drama, I was eating so much junk food cause it got so bad that I stopped leaving my room and using the kitchen to make actual food, it was so bad.
3. Richer or poorer? With my whole car bullshit I'm way poorer lolol.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Probably more photography since I keep pretending it's supposed to be my career goal but tbh, even though I didn't make any of my creative pursuits profitable this year I'm really happy with how much I wrote and drew and even the podcasting and everything. I got a lot done!
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
I wasted a lot of time like, crying and being anxious and laying around in the dark trying to calm myself down because I'd get home and my roommates would have me so upset and stressed out I had to just lay there and do nothing for a while to decompress.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
I spent Christmas with my family for the first time since 2014 so that was super nice! It was weird, but nice! Like, I appreciate it for sure, and it was so wonderful to see my nephews, but I definitely need to take my mom in small doses, and it's been nice that I live 3000 miles away cause it's perfect for small doses, and I think I got a little too much of her lol.
21. How will you spend New Year's Eve?
That's today! After I do this survey I'm gonna clean my apartment and try to sketch out a creative schedule for January!
22. Did you fall in love in 2017?
Does it count if I say I fell in love with Victor Nikiforov like, vicariously through Katsuki Yuuri?
23. How many one-night stands?
Um!!!!!!!!!! One kinda? I don't know if it counts as a one-night stand cause it was like one of my old internet friends and we planned it for when I was visiting NY. I went over and spent the night with him and we banged it out and then I left in the morning but like, it was mutually planned and agreed upon and our friendship hasn't changed because of it LMAO.
24. What was your favorite TV program?
Yuri!!! on Ice! LIFE CHANGING! Also s/o to Banshee, like usual, and the hypothetical VC TV series that I can't stop talking about even though it doesn't even exist yet LOL.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Nah we're good.
26. What was the best book you read?
I'm a tool and it isn't a book but Beside the Dancing Sea is a book-length fanfic that fucked my entire life up.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Perturbator and Kiss the Anus of a Black Cat and The Pineapple Thief.
28. What did you want and got?
Rammstein floor tickets! My own apartment!
29. What did you want and not get?
ANOTHER YEAR PASSES IN WHICH I DO NOT GET ANY OF THE TATTOOS I WANT BECAUSE I NEED THEM TO BE SUPER NICE AND FANCY AND I CANNOT AFFORD THEM. One day. I wanted to not be in a car accident. I also thought I'd have furnished my apartment by now but the car accident really fucked my schedule up.
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Get Out was probably my favorite new movie, but I also saw Only Lovers Left Alive for the first time and it's the best.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 29, my roommates burst in my room with confetti canons and then fed me pizza and got me stoned and we watched American Psycho LOL.
32. What's one thing would have made 2017 immeasurably more satisfying?
I really don't want to complain cause I feel like I made it out of the worst parts in one piece. I would say like, more money, less debilitating social anxiety, and after the bullshit with my ex in NYC I would've appreciated less like, triggered PTSD meltdowns. I also wish I'd put more time into my original writing projects but it's not the end of the word lol.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016?
ANOTHER YEAR OF JEANS & METAL SHIRTS except my office is FREEZING cause my boss controls the thermostat from upstairs so I was wearing a lot of hoodies like every fucking day even when it was like 115 degrees outside LOL.
34. What kept you sane?
My VC friends that I made adhsjgklashdgjk omfg the most lovely supportive people that put up with my wordvomitting and TMI psychological episodes LOL.
35. Which celebrity did you fancy the most?
... Armand? LOL I GUESS HE DOESN'T COUNT? King Diamond?
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
I used to be really tuned into politics and was a total political junkie and I had to trade it in for fandom time because it got so fucking bleak this year. I got super extra upset about Net Neutrality and the trans military bullshit and Roy Moore.
37. Who did do you miss?
Now that I've reconnected with my estranged family I feel like I miss them. I probably always missed them but I had to turn it off cause it wasn't healthy. Now that it's like, possible to actually talk to them and visit them and stuff it feels safer to want to miss them because it's something I am capable of remedying.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
Omfg Yuu!!!!!!!! Idk why it happened but we met in the FB writing ground and just like started talking every day on Facebook and it was so great and I stayed with her when I went to NY and it was the best! And like my VC friends!!!!!!! My life is such much better with you guys in it!
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017.
Creating silly bullshit like fanfiction is just as valuable as creating works that can be financially lucrative--getting a degree in photography really ruined my ability to see creative work as FUN vs seeing it as only worth anything if it can make money, and it was awesome to re-learn that the spiritual healing it does it worth all of it.
40. Quote or Song Lyric that sums up your year:
With every bit of my strength, left I will fight for what's mine / No sympathy is what I yield / My anger knows no bounds
