monstersinthecosmos: (Default)
[personal profile] monstersinthecosmos

So oh god. I do this survey every year on my LJ for like, the past. 10 years or something. BUT I'VE DEFECTED FROM LJ FINALLY SO HERE IT IS, IN HERE. Let's see what happens.

Post the first sentence of the first entry each month this year.

(I just started here on DW so none of these entries exist here, they're all from my LJ haha)

January: I finally gave up on LJ but I'm like beside myself with bullshit and nonsense so I needed to stop by and unload my feelings for a few minutes.

February: So anyway Sam found us a house in Burbank and signed the lease yesterday.

March: So like. I was hoping to leave this week. I finished working last Thursday, and Friday I drove to Newark to ship my stuff out via Amtrak, and my parents original closing date was today (Tuesday), so my original plan was to finish packing over the weekend at gtfo as soon as I could so that I wasn't in the house while my parents' moving company was here cause that sounded like a terrible experience that I didn't want to be a part of. (This is more than one sentence but they were fragments and would've been out of context lol)

April: Figured I'd pop in and update now that I'm here and mostly settled in.


July: So I've settled in pretty well in Burbank, nothing to really complain about thus far.


And then here's a survey that I do every year. I copied it from the one I did in 2015, let's see if I met my goals and how depressing it will be.

1. What did you do in 2016 that you'd never done before?
I drove from New York to California ALL BY MYSELF and it was pretty fucking fun. Hung out backstage at the Whisky (twice!). Visited Los Angeles, which was good because I fucking like MOVED THERE without having ever actually been there. Fucking bold right? Got my first legit full time job, instead of having 2-3 jobs at once. OMG I MET ANNE RICE LOL. And Christopher Rice was there too and we fangirled together. I got my wisdom teeth removed. Had a one night stand. THEN ANOTHER LIKE. 6 DAYS LATER. BECAUSE I AM WILD.

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions for 2016? Will you make more for 2017?
I don't think I made any solid ones cause this time last year I was just really focused on getting my shit together to move. BUT I DID MOVE. So there's that. And I don't think I wanna make like legit resolutions for 2017 BUT!!! BUT! I am gonna try to do NaNo in January, because in November I was busy blitz re-reading the Vampire Chronicles lmao.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My old supervisor from my job in New York did, like, 3 days ago. Adorable.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
I mean if David Bowie counts, but no.

5. What countries did you visit?
I didn't leave the country but I did drive all the fuck the way across the US.

6. What would you like to have in 2017 that you lacked in 2016?
Last year I said I hoped I could settle into my new place and get into a healthier creative routine, hopefully with my roommates' help because all of us are creative people. TURNS OUT, THEY LIKE TO SPEND ALL THEIR TIME WATCHING NETFLIX AND NOT BEING CREATIVE, AND IT ALSO TURNS OUT THAT I'M RUDELY TAKING UP TOO MUCH SPACE IN THE COMMON AREAS WHEN I TRY TO LEAVE MY BEDROOM FOR CREATIVE PURSUITS. So like it's great that I got settled in, and now I'm like crippled by social anxiety and never leave my bedroom, so I'd like to work on that, and even if it has to be from within the confines of my bedroom, I would like to get into a productive creative routine.

7. What date from 2016 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
4/2 was Nekrogoblikon at the Whisky, and I planned my whole trip out here around GETTING HERE IN TIME FOR THE NEKRO SHOW. So I got to LA on 4/1 lol.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Definitely my move. I know I keep bringing it up. But. It was kind of a big deal. I also had a couple weeks where I like having sexual experiments cause I ended a long term relationship when I moved, and I hadn't attempted to date since I was a teenager, and I was like "let me go try on some dicks and see if I'm really asexual or if it's just that I was shy?" so I tried that. Meh. It felt good to conquer the social anxiety though.

9. What was your biggest failure?
I think my social anxiety is the worst it's ever been in my life and it makes me cry a lot.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I actually haven't been sick since I moved out here, which is incredible. APPARENTLY WHEN YOU AREN'T WORKING OVERNIGHTS/3 JOBS/GET SLEEP AT NIGHT IT'S GOOD FOR YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
I bought an old school PSone so that I could play my old games, and it's been pretty rad.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My parents were actually so fucking supportive and helpful while I was moving, which was a huge surprise because we've had a really bad relationship for most of my life. It's starting to heal a little and it's very strange and I don't know how to feel. But I super appreciated their help so much. I cried a lot in the car when I was driving away when I finally left lol.

13. Whose behavior made you mad and ill-willed?
My brother's lol.

14. Where did most of your money go?
My move/car/rent.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
I was so excited to go meet Anne Rice LMAO!

16. What song will always remind you of 2016?

Sisters of Mercy - More! GODDAMN like I've been on such a Sisters kick ever since I moved out here and I think forever now I've embedded all my memories of learning my way around LA into their songs. Plus they're my headcanon for The Vampire Lestat and I'm on such a massive VC kick right now so I'm sure that'll have an impact as well.

Ylvis - I Will Never Be a Star. OMG LOL so when I was on my roadtrip, like, I MANAGED, DON'T GET ME WRONG, but I managed because I was like keeping my anxiety in check proactively, and one of the things I was doing was every morning when I started off, I would listen to a handful of Ylvis songs cause I WOULD LIKE SCREAM LAUGHING IN THE CAR and it was so much fun. So this and Intolerant and Pressure and a couple others. haha. :D

Dead Can Dance - The Ubiquitous Mr. Lovegrove. I made this post in [community profile] vc_media about all the music that I set to the different VC books, and someone suggested this as a MARIUS SONG SO I HAD INTENSE FEELS AND LISTENED TO IT OVER AND OVER FOR LIKE A WEEK. Jeez.

Opeth - Moon Above, Sun Below. I think I still have really vivid memories of the first time I hear this song but I made like my ~big return to fanfic~ with an Armand/Daniel fic and borrowed this for the title and listened to it like 10000 times for inspiration. So.

THERE ARE MORE, I COULD GO ON. But I'll stop. lol. Runners up are Cold Showers and King Diamond and She Past Away but. Yeah.

This time last year were you:
1. Happier or sadder? I think I'm doing better, and I'm healthier, but my anxiety has more of a hold on my life than it did last year and I want to fix that.
2. Thinner or fatter? I think I'm the same, I'm not sure!
3. Richer or poorer? omg so poor.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
I had goals that I wanted to get my photography off the ground in LA and like set my website up, and I still haven't. I had one photo job since I've been out here, and I tried to do it like ~IN MY OWN HOME~ and my roommates gave me shit about it, and it really discouraged me and now I'm not sure what I should do and it really mindfucked me. So. I wish I'd done more photography, and I wish I'd gotten my business out there.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
I cried a lot lol.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
On Christmas Eve I got fucking hammered wasted and went to an Infected Mushroom show by myself, but I made friends. On Christmas I slept till noon cause I was hungover, and then I watched The Re-Animator and From Dusk Till Dawn and tumbl'd. My family didn't invite me to Christmas and my roommates went home, so I was all by myself lol. PRETTY GREAT.

21. How will you spend New Year's Eve?
I haven't decided yet, depends what the roommates are up to and if they have any ideas.

22. Did you fall in love in 2016?
Like. I think. That. I moved across the country to escape a dead-end relationship, and being away from him made me realize how much I deeply loved him and it really fucked me up for a while. But. Other than that, no. LOL

23. How many one-night stands?
Two. The one tried to see me again but I blew him off cause I was at the laundromat.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Fucking BANSHEE and Westworld.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I think I didn't realize how much I hated Donald Trump, because I thought he was a joke and it wouldn't go anywhere.

26. What was the best book you read?
It was really refreshing to reread the Vampire Chronicles, cause there were a lot of really awesome pieces and parts that I forgot about. TVA and B&G were, as usual, the STARS and I cried a lot. I liked the new book, too, I thought it was silly and cute.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Cold Showers and She Past Away.

28. What did you want and got?
My cute little house in Burbank.

29. What did you want and not get?
I had an appointment to get a tattoo on my roadtrip, but then my car broke and I had to put the trip off for a couple weeks, so I didn't get to go. :( I designed it though and I found a guy out here that I really like for the style I want, but I've been super broke and haven't done it yet.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Hardcore Henry. :D

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 28, and I had to work, and my brother/nephews didn't call me all day so I cried in the car on the way home, then my parents took me out for sushi and I got drunk on peach martinis to cope with my feelings, and then my nephew finally called way at the end of the night with only like 5 minutes to talk cause it was bedtime. My brother texted me after I got off the phone going "by the way. happy birthday." Like how passive aggressive, fuck yourself lol.

32. What's one thing would have made 2016 immeasurably more satisfying?
More money, more photography. But I'm honestly like, so proud of myself for getting as much done as I did, so I'm being easy on myself.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016?
Jeans & metal shirts, THE USUAL. But on weekends when I'm not at work I try to goth it up a little to feel like a lady.

34. What kept you sane?
"sane" lol. I obsessively threw myself into VC and infiltrated the fandom via Tumblr so that I wouldn't die of alcohol poisoning during the holiday season. I THINK IT WORKED!! :D

35. Which celebrity did you fancy the most?
Kit Harrington. :D

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Oh god the election. And like. I'm a political junkie most of the time. And I've had to walk away for a while, because it's gotten so infuriating and stressful.

37. Who did do you miss?
I missed Will a lot. I think I'm over it cause he outed himself as a complete asshole. But I'm still kinda sad it all went down the way it did.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
I hung out with my friend Juan for the first time RIGHT BEFORE I LEFT NY. I knew him for years from deviantART and we never hung out, and we went to a few shows together before I moved, AND THE CHEMISTRY WAS PALPABLE AND IT'S SO FRUSTRATING THAT I LEFT BECAUSE I REALLY LIKE HIM SO MUCH GODDAMNIT. So that sucked. But we text a lot and he's great.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2016.
Things will be accomplished with small manageable goals, because your reward center in your brain is all kindsa fucked up, and you need to take baby steps to get shit done.

40. Quote or Song Lyric that sums up your year:

Date: 2016-12-28 08:12 pm (UTC)
desecrets: (Default)
From: [personal profile] desecrets
Okay I need to go and check out that music-for-the-VC post you made because I too have a long list of VC songs and you have some really cool choices here! Dead Can Dance<333 (And lmao I dig that you watched a Lovecraft movie on Christmas Day. Good call, good call.)

I hope the roommates/social anxiety sitch works out for you in 2017, living with people and sharing a space can be hard. But wow, your year sounds eventful. Driving across the US and moving to LA sounds really exciting! (Also, being European, I have this idea that this is the kind of stuff people in movies do, so there's that. ;)

Date: 2016-12-29 01:05 am (UTC)
desecrets: (Default)
From: [personal profile] desecrets
Yikes yeah that's really awkward. Tbh sometimes I think living with friends can be even HARDER, because it's harder to negotiate neutral rules from the outset when it's someone who knows you, and you're already kind of disposed towards being annoyed by each other's quirks?? I dunno. I was pretty nervous about my current living arrangements (student dorm) but everyone who's lived in my corridor has been cool so far and we only share the kitchen, so it's more of an impersonal thing I guess. Maybe negotiate some stuff?? ETA: ALSO I'M 100% SURE THEY DON'T HATE YOU.
Edited Date: 2016-12-29 01:07 am (UTC)

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